| Great night :) |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|11:04 pm] |
So i had a great night....!!!!
I woke up around 1ish heh...played some WoW til about 5ish...then i got nice and spruced up and took Kelly out to Red Lobster. :) It was fun. We talked about somethings we've done in our lives...found out she was going to school for...she's a very family oriented person which is always good. Over all it was a good "date"? you could call it i guess heh. Don't know what it is about this girl but i do feel very comfortable around her and that doesn't happen very often. I like the feeling :) I think for once in my life I'm starting to enjoy who i am and what i'm all about. Which is also a good feeling...Lets hope the good times keep comin' heh.
Well for now i'm gonna watch the newest episode of Naruto freshly downloaded from Dattebayo and probably hit the hay cause i have a long work day ahead of me tomorrow...7am til probably 9pm at the earliest...please let it be slow! HAH. Alright night everyone :)
P.S. :) :) :) :) :) :) |
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| ^_^ |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|08:13 pm] |
So its wednesday night...which means nothing other than Girls night on American Idol and karaoke night lol...
Yeah i'm a nerd i watch American Idol but i love it. I may not be the biggest fan of how some of the contestants get treated but the idea behind the show is what sells me. It absolutely gets so many peoples names out there that with out this show they wouldn't become half as famous or known as they are. And if you ask me anything that can help striving talent out is good in my books.
Oh commercials are over so i'm goin back to the show...afterwards im goin to karaoke atleast for a bit. I may update later let everyone know how that went haha. PEACE! |
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| 3 YEARS?!?!?!?!?! |
[Feb. 27th, 2007|03:01 pm] |
HAHA wow...3 years since i've posted in this thing...seems like forever ago that i wrote those entries. I was reading through them and started thinking wow i was really pathetic haha. So i think i may take up this journal again and renew it. Hopefully i'm not as pathetic as i used to be and people will enjoy reading what is going on in my life rather than being depressed lol.
Glad to be back! |
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| ::sniffle:: |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|01:30 am] |
Well a long day and a depressing night...i need to not watch movies that remind me oh the lack of love in my life...
Above all things right now i want love...i want someone to hold and someone to cheerish. It seems that more and more often i think about this lack of love in my life and it depresses me to a great extent. Everyone always says hey hang in there you'll find someone...but as the days go by i feel that is less and less true. I suppose you could say my biggest fear in life is that i'll never be loved romantically. I have so much to give and i know i can make a girl very happy. I just wish someone would see that...I've come to know that Nice guys finish last all to often. It's about time that i find love in my life...and as selfish as this may sound, I DAMN WELL DESERVE IT! I've lived a good life and i'm filled with overflowing amount of care and love to give to someone, that when i actually do find that person they are gonna drown in it lol...
I guess i'll drag my depressed butt to bed now...waking up at 10 to watch kill bill and then pick up the gang and go see kill bill 2...
I'll try to update about work tomorrow..cause i've certainly had enough of it for one week lol my first week none the less...night all |
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| ... |
[Apr. 8th, 2004|12:17 am] |
Sorry that i didn't speak much tonight on the car ride home...
You were reflecting on all of the relationships you've had and all the pain and suffering and love you've been through...it made me think...I dont' know how to put much into words other than this...
It kills me inside to know that I have not and probably never will experience love. It kills me inside that I will probably never know the pain of the loss of a relationship of one I truly love. It kills me inside to know that…I’ll never really know…
"O.K."
If only i had the chance to say that... |
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| Give it a go... |
[Feb. 20th, 2004|06:27 pm] |
If anyone even reads this anymore...give it a go...
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? |
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| Nothin really.... |
[Feb. 16th, 2004|01:04 am] |
I got a new icon...i made it myself in Photoshop...anyone like it?
*edit*
Ok so now its even better it has text that fades in :) me and bakes have been working on our icons all morning lol |
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| Hmmm |
[Feb. 14th, 2004|11:19 am] |
Well i just went the whole way to Lemar to find out no one is at band practice and drive the whole way back...yeah it only took me 10 minutes...i went fast...real fast...
Another V-day alone...as usual...i think i've given up on ever finding someone...god hates me...so i hate him lol...but whatever...i call him a cock sucker and now i am grounded in my room 3 days...heh j/k
Anyways im home alone right now...and i wish i had a gf...wish i had someone to make feel special and have them make me feel anything but empty...
Hope everyone has a great V-day...make up for mine... |
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| Fucking Livejournal! |
[Feb. 8th, 2004|08:19 pm] |
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God damnit! I just had a really long entry about how i hate my job and live journal like reset on me and its all gone....FUCK IT! I'm not writing it again...I haven't quit , yet, but if any of you know a place where the boss isn't such an asshole let me know...i may be interested....if you want to know why I'm so pissed off just IM me...I'll be glad to tell ya |
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| Hmmm just when you think you're down... |
[Jan. 7th, 2004|05:52 pm] |
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So i go into work today and i park in the lot across from baby's where you pay by the hour...i didn't want to spend my money so i pour out all the change in my wallet...TADA! I have $4 :) so thats a plus...so i go into work and everyones really nice and Ibby rocks...i start filling out paper work and the manager is like sorry for not calling you right away about your schedule and i said it was ok that it wasn't the schedule i was freakin out about it was the parking...i said i went to pay my rent and found i only had 2 dollars left in my account after i paid it...well she was like oh geez...i was gonna mention this later but im looking for a fulltime night worker who can stay to close etc...and if you can do it you can park out back for free :) So in full all my problems are solved lol...for now... :) Hopefully they stay solved lol...i think i figured my first pay check to be about 300 so that will enough for next months rent and my moms money i owe her...and then hopefully checks wil be slightly higher from here on out... :) But today over all was a great day...I'm happy once again... |
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| Ever feel like shooting yourself? |
[Jan. 6th, 2004|05:07 pm] |
Everything that has gone on in my life in the past month has made me feel this way...It started before i moved out...My mom lost her job...No where else would hire her because of the false charges that the old job fired her for...so guess who was the back up...ME...within the course of 2-3 months i think i spouted out about $1200 to help pay rent and bills who knows maybe even more money than that...I couldn't handle it anymore...so i tell my mom i want to move out...i can't pay that much money to live at home...well of course she gets mad at me...along with my sister...as if i've done something wrong...my sister didn't give my mom one dime to help her out...Tell me...what was i suppose to do? I ran out of money...i quit my job because it wasn't even giving my enough money to live at home...and i just don't see why this had to happen to me...what did i ever do to deserve this? Neither one of my sisters ever had to do anything like this before...
After a month of searching for a job i finally found one...i start work tomorrow...i get paid 6.25 an hour and was guarenteed fulltime hours...problem is after i pay rent i have 2 dollars left in my bank account and only enough money in my wallet right now to fill my almost empty gas tank one last time...which leads to another problem...there is no free parking in State College and my work doesn't provide parking spaces...but i can definetly not afford to pay to park...so i have no idea what im gonna do...i don't want to borrow money from people...i don't want to have to we anyone anything...i don't want to feel as though im weak and i've lost this battle when i shouldn't of had to be in a battle in the first place...i should of been able to live in thie apartment for almost a year with out a problem...and sadly enough i can only barely manage a month...I'm so lost...I don't know what to do...I can't do this anymore...i just wish i lived a normal life and had a normal family...and i went to college and went on to be a successful graduate but none of that will ever happen...and i can't do a thing about it...
::sigh:: Back to the couch to sleep away the fear and the anger...my next move decides my future i guess...we'll see what happens... |
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| Why not me? |
[Jan. 5th, 2004|12:16 am] |
Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
This air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild, so calm and dull
These hearts they race from self-control
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery
Whichever you prefer
The words are hushed lets not get busted,
just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions..
"Hey did you get some?"
"Man, that is so dumb."
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close
they can't hear, so we can get some.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery
Which ever you prefer
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair
That you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it was so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet and the gate was locked
So I jumped it and let you in
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew, that you meant it
That you meant it, that you meant it
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it
I want that...i want to experience love. I want to dive in and never look back...i want to be tanted and not regret it....i just want to feel loved and not in a friend or family way...i just want that....i just.... |
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| Oh no... |
[Dec. 22nd, 2003|11:32 pm] |
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I'm full of myself because a high-schooler told me so...I'm hurt...She's poison and shes infected all of the people around her...i feel sorry for everyone... |
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| *cough* |
[Dec. 18th, 2003|02:21 pm] |
The past few days have been rather uneventful...but let me explain why...
Tuesday is LoTR time...a few friends and myself head over to get in line around noon...i already didn't feel well...so we wait our 10 hours outside then get inside i sit down and almost fall asleep cause im burning up...the movie starts...THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN...once i feel better and have money coming in regularly i will go see it again...but anyway we come home i fall asleep at 4am... (this is where the uneventful part comes in) From Wednesday Dec. 17th 4am until Thursday Dec. 18th 10 am i slept...with the occasional wake ups to pee...thats 30 hours...i slept 30 freakin hours! i feel slightly better but not entirely...my nose is still running and i feel a bit weak still...i just ate some beef ramen...the only thing i've eaten in two days...i need to go hand in my application up at Eat'n'Park and hope and pray they hire me ASAP cause i need money or i don't know what im going to do...i only have enough money to pay stephen rent this month and my mom my insurance and phone stuff that only leaves me 10$ to deal with gas and food til the end of january...i don't think thats gonna work...i just really need a job where i get paid well and work decent hours and like it...cause i dont' feel like letting anyone else down...like i left my mom down...i don't need to lose baker and stephen because of this...im just so sick of being a let down...i don't want to let anyone down ever again...ever...*sigh* |
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| Tattoo |
[Dec. 10th, 2003|11:23 pm] |
I designed this tattoo and i wanted someone to get it...
Anyone interested? |
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| Highly weird... |
[Dec. 7th, 2003|11:29 am] |
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Yeah.. so...tomorrow night i'll be attending a business seminar and possibly be hired for a debt consolidating company...last week i had picked up an application for Petco and this guy took my name and number but i thought he was gonna help me out with getting the job at petco...but he called today and told me about this different one...I have to make a freakin Resume which isn't going to be very spectacular at all...and i have to dress up nice...he wanted me to wear a suit but i don't have one...but the guy asked me to come at 7 instead of 7:30 so he could introduce me to the Vice President of the company...this is all to weird...even stephen said it sounded fishy...i'm starting to wonder myself...is this for real...or could this be the luck starting from Mattys Job fetish...im highly excited and highly confused right now... |
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| HAHAHA |
[Dec. 5th, 2003|12:56 am] |
Net Ninja vs. Kitty
-- [ 1 ] ---- [ 0 ] --
ONE TO NOTHING! WE WIN... |
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| ::warm smile:: |
[Dec. 3rd, 2003|01:09 am] |
Goodnight beautiful :)
Today was fun woke up and took a short trip to williamsport only to head right back..but not before we saw the cute puppies and the one dalmation that mad it look like shit came in a storm form from the looks of his cage...heh nasty...then came back and after a little gaming movie time commenced...me and kenshin went to the mall...he got a bad ass samurai movie and i got Pirates of the Carribean :) watched those both went to sheetz came home talked to Becky and now here i am...
I like her...shes fun to talk to and easy to talk to...i think shes someone i could get to know and like and she'll like me for who i am...not for who i could be...
She's in a band and i want to hear there stuff...i bet her voice rocks... :) I hope things go good though...i mean they have to right? ::smiles:: nah i'm not gonna worry this time i know they will :) |
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| Hmmmm ^_^ |
[Dec. 1st, 2003|02:10 pm] |
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Interest sparks...wonder where things will go? Prolly should of wrote about this last night but i was to happy/tired lol...If anything were to happen it would be hella cool...i mean i would say its about time things start going my way :) |
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| ... |
[Nov. 29th, 2003|11:20 pm] |
I never know what to say...there he was...pouring himself out to me...and there i sat saying nothing...just listening...what was i to say...i never know...i've never been through anything that hes been through like this ever...and its hard...i see him crying and alls i see is me being a horrible friend...i wish i could live his life for just one day..so i could experience his pain and his anguish and share it with him...learn what to say...how to comfort him...but i can't...and most likely will never know how he feels...and i feel as though that is making me a bad friend...and i really don't know what else to do...
Whoever said ignorance is bliss was wrong...dead wrong... |
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